the Goods, the Bads, and the Uglies

FABULOUS (Yes, I made up a new category again.): It's a long story, so bear with me.  Braydon had been complaining about the side of his leg hurting, by his fibula, on and off again for about a month. I finally decided to take him to the doctor. I know mother of the year.  We went to Onpoint Urgent Care and had x-rays. Dr. Bushnell asked me to come look at the x-ray of Braydon's foot.  He showed me a spot where there looked to be something next to the bone. It was so tiny I could barely see it.  He told me he thought it was nothing but that I should have it checked out by a specialist. So, a visit to the specialist, then a MRI at Childrens Hospital confirmed that there was a mass of abnormal cells attached to Braydon's bone. Our pediatrician  called us the same day as the MRI, and told us this mass was most likely some type of bone infection or osteosarcoma (bone cancer). This is when my official "freak out" began. We wanted Braydon to get a blessing, but of course the Friday after Thanksgiving is not the time to call people.  Ryan gave Braydon a great blessing, but didn't promise any immediate recovery, so yes, I continued to freak out (not in front of the kids of course). We met with the specialist again on Monday.  We walked into his office he sat down, gave us a couple of scenarios, and then told us that he had already made an appointment with an oncologist for tomorrow.  This news was one of my worst nightmares come true. We had Bishop and Matt Mathison give all of us blessings which helped to calm me for awhile. I kept it together until we got the kids to bed and then I completely lost it.  How could this be happening to us? How could my baby have the "c" word? blah blah blah. The next day we met with the oncologist and after waiting an hour and a half he told us the same thing that we had already heard.  I was really frustrated and wasn't so nice to him (yes, I felt bad about it after we left).  He felt that we needed to have a biopsy of the area asap. So he scheduled one for 8am at P/SL the next day.  We arrived at P/SL and waited two hours for his biopsy/surgery (no I didn't freak out at the doctor this time). Dr. Hugate (the doctor) then explained that while performing the biopsy if it were an infection he would clean out the area, apply antibiotics and then start him on IV antibiotics for one to two weeks.  If it was a tumor then he would obtain a sample, send it to pathology to determine the best type of treatment and chemotherapy to use.  When he finished his explanation, I "ate crow" and apologized to him. He was very gracious in accepting my apology, which actually made me feel worse, but who wants a mad doctor operating on their son? Braydon was so brave through out the entire ordeal at the hospital.  I went back with him to the OR to be with him until he fell asleep from the gas. Do you like my hasmat outfit?  We went in the OR, I could tell my brave boy was starting to get scared.  When they put the mask on him, he started crying and reached for me saying, "Mommy." Well, that was enough for me. Tears were streaming down face, but he was already out so he didn't notice. The doctor told me they would take good care of him. I told him he better, that I was leaving him with half of my life. Braydon later told me he got scared b/c everyone's heads got really big.  Then, Ryan and I waited for two long hours. The surgeon came out to talk to us and then the most amazing, fabulous miracle happened he told us that Braydon had a tumor, which he removed, but that he didn't see any signs of cancer and he was 90% sure that the tumor was benign.  They did have to graft some bone in b/c the fibula had been destroyed by the tumor, but that went well and now we would just have to wait for the pathology reports to make sure there was absolutely no cancer.  It was seriously a miracle.  He didn't understand how the x-ray and MRI could show something completely different from what he saw in surgery.  It was the one scenario that he didn't bring up b/c he didn't even think it was an option. We knew that our prayers, and the hundreds of others that had been offered in his behalf had been answered. Now, Bryadon is home and recovering from his surgery. He is supposed to lay around for 3 days, he made it about one day. We are just so grateful he his home and healthy, I can hardly get mad at him for not wanting to lay around. Our only challenge now is to keep him from running, jumping, wrestling, or tripping for 6 weeks, a hard task that we are so happy to have. What did I learn from this? That everyday is an amazing day that we are so lucky to share with our kids.  Things can change so quickly we shouldn't take any of it for granted.  I LOVE YOU BRAYDON SO SO MUCH!